Ole & Clarence

Ole lived across the Mississippi from Clarence who he didn't like at all.
All the time they were yelling across the river at each other.
Ole would yell to Clarence, 'If I had a vay to cross dis river, I'd come over dere an beat you up good, yeah sure, ya betcha by golly!'
This went on for years.
Finally the state built a bridge across the river right there by their houses.
Ole's wife, Lena, says, 'Now is your chance, Ole, vhy don't you go over dere and beat up dat Clarence like you said you vould.'
Ole says, 'OK, by yimmy I tink I vill do yust dat'Ole started for the bridge, but he sees a sign on the bridge an he stops to read it, then he turns around and comes back home.
Lena asked, 'vhy did you come back?'
Ole said, 'Lena, I tink I change my mind 'bout beatin' up dat Clarence, you know, dey put a sign on da bridge dat says 'Clarence is 13 ft. 6 in.'
You know, he don't look near dat big vhen I yell at him from across da river'

O.K. I am off to stitch :)